Do you love me? …. Feed my lambs…
I could imagine the weight of the question. Raul, do you love me? It is such a question, not of doubt, but of certainty of God’s love. Three similar questions but in different tone and intensity. Peter was made of God’s love. He was anointed once again to become a disciple….”Come and follow me…!”
But, what about you Raul? I asked myself. How far do I love God? It is something really. How could my little soul answer such a heavy question? Yes I do! My soul was made an object of God’s love! That’s it! He made me think not just of simple loving, but deeper loving. I cannot love God more than He loves me. His love is beyond compare. Even if I have thousands of lives and love them tenderly, I cannot compare it with the love of God for me.
Jesus asked me if I love Him because He wanted to see if I have understood that deep love, that fullness of love that opens love, that generous love. When Christ loves, he loves no boundary or whatsoever. Jesus asked me at least three times because He knows it is impossible for me to love like him, but also I am so human in my answer, so he wanted to bring my soul to the spiritual level of loving- to give myself to Him and to others, without measure. Even if I am sinful, he knows that I cannot give more, but He takes away my weaknesses, even the dark spots of my life, that I may love in a higher and deeper degree.
Raul do you love me? Yes Lord, You know that I love you… Then, surrender yourself to me. I don’t need your sins and misgivings and mistakes and shortcomings. I have forgiven you and I only want you, your inner being, your heart, your soul, your feelings, emotions. I want your totality.
Jesus, by asking me such questions, re-anointed me too of a new vocation- “Go then and commit yourself. Move and be free!” It seems like that He is telling me, ‘Get lost of yourself and be free with me!’
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Monday, 16 May 2011
Monday, 21 February 2011
Yahweh Knows Me
"Yahweh,You know me…" (Psalm 138/139)
I entered into this psalm, which is always a message of self-awareness. I wrote this after an instruction during our retreat.
Yahweh, you know me. God knows me! I felt that line very much! Amazing and overwhelming realization! Everything of me is known by God. Nothing is hidden in my life without Him knowing. It is amazing to realize this though! God of course, has created me in His own image and likeness; therefore, He called me for a partnership. He called me into a relationship. He has taken that initiative of our closeness. My being a Comboni Missionary is not just my own desire. God desired that one for me, that I may follow Him in a special way.
I was also filled with awe; I sat down silently, realizing that God is interested in my being Raul, not anybody else. Therefore, I should not live in pretensions, but to admire and to be grateful of my uniqueness. Being that child of God, I should be aware too of His parental guidance, because He searches for me, looks after me. I am that child Raul, who is forgiven, loved and has grown up in a relationship. Therefore, my life should always be a life of self-giving and self-donation.
I looked back in the past, in my journey up to now, so many feelings of pains, failures and tears. I realized that somehow, even in a supportive and loving family, I am a wounded being, but I share with the wounds of the world; and at times, I don’t have time to look after of my own. Now is the moment, the time for prayer and silence, to open my wounds and to allow the Lord to attend to them and heal them.
In the same way, there were also a lot of chances in my life that I have missed. There were privileges that would have been mine, but since I did not take them into deep consideration, they just slipped away, not aware of their goodness to me.
Now, I am claiming them back. In my prayers, I have to own them as if they happened in my life. God is there to help me. It is God’s purpose that I am alive, so that I may work out what I have missed in my life. Such was God’s purpose. He takes pleasure in me, despite of my brokenness and littleness.
I am that little David, hidden probably, yet God searched for me; and when He found me, He held me tight so that I may not slip away. He hedged me round with His loving arms. Therefore, I thank the Lord for what I am. He is the actor of the journey, and He is acting through me.
I entered into this psalm, which is always a message of self-awareness. I wrote this after an instruction during our retreat.
Yahweh, you know me. God knows me! I felt that line very much! Amazing and overwhelming realization! Everything of me is known by God. Nothing is hidden in my life without Him knowing. It is amazing to realize this though! God of course, has created me in His own image and likeness; therefore, He called me for a partnership. He called me into a relationship. He has taken that initiative of our closeness. My being a Comboni Missionary is not just my own desire. God desired that one for me, that I may follow Him in a special way.
I was also filled with awe; I sat down silently, realizing that God is interested in my being Raul, not anybody else. Therefore, I should not live in pretensions, but to admire and to be grateful of my uniqueness. Being that child of God, I should be aware too of His parental guidance, because He searches for me, looks after me. I am that child Raul, who is forgiven, loved and has grown up in a relationship. Therefore, my life should always be a life of self-giving and self-donation.
I looked back in the past, in my journey up to now, so many feelings of pains, failures and tears. I realized that somehow, even in a supportive and loving family, I am a wounded being, but I share with the wounds of the world; and at times, I don’t have time to look after of my own. Now is the moment, the time for prayer and silence, to open my wounds and to allow the Lord to attend to them and heal them.
In the same way, there were also a lot of chances in my life that I have missed. There were privileges that would have been mine, but since I did not take them into deep consideration, they just slipped away, not aware of their goodness to me.
Now, I am claiming them back. In my prayers, I have to own them as if they happened in my life. God is there to help me. It is God’s purpose that I am alive, so that I may work out what I have missed in my life. Such was God’s purpose. He takes pleasure in me, despite of my brokenness and littleness.
I am that little David, hidden probably, yet God searched for me; and when He found me, He held me tight so that I may not slip away. He hedged me round with His loving arms. Therefore, I thank the Lord for what I am. He is the actor of the journey, and He is acting through me.
Monday, 7 February 2011
A Valentine's Day Greeting
What I have written here are just personal thoughts, scattered and you might find it difficult to understand me. Sorry!!!!
Valentine's Day is fast approaching. This is not much celebrated here in Africa, but I still keep the tradition in my heart as we celebrate the day of love. I assure you that my love is embracing your soul as I do to my family and friends. Know that my love, like yours, is also a fruit of God's love, full of hope and courage, in spite of the many trials.
We keep always on talking about the Heart of Jesus - which is full of love and compassion. But I wonder too how are we living in the image of the Sacred Heart, wounded because of the sins of the world, but at the same time, expressing peace and resurrection because of His great love.
You are an inspiration to me! We may express that language of our hearts in different ways, but we also say something, which is very much directed to our journey, to my journey - that is the offering of myself, and abandonment to the will of the Father. I FEEL THAT AT TIMES, THE LORD MAKES ME AN INSPIRATION TO OTHERS.
I am praying that in your practice of humility, you will identify yourself with Jesus more and more and hold His hand in your climb to holiness. Yes, it is very possible to happen. Sanctity of life is at hand. What have we done? Even myself, if given the chance, I want to reach sanctity of life - not as a position, but being possessed and positioned by God.
If the Lord had allowed me to see the meaning of my life in the previous years, I am very certain that He will do it to me again and again. All I have to do is to hang on, be patient for his time. I know this is difficult, but into hHs hands, I commend my soul.
I am wishing all the best in life. Looking at my mission, I feel very much strengthened in a very special way. I am very grateful to the Lord for helping me to cope with all the demands.
There is a need for us to storm heaven with our prayers and invocations. God knows what we want. He wants us to personally cast our nets- even in shallow and muddy water. The saints will never be frightened, but they will work with delight.
"A long way to go.", that is my line. In fact, unending. I realized that my mission is full of uncertainties. In Philippines we have this saying "Bahala na lang ang Diyos" (Rest all things to God)- this would be my active resignation of my weaknesses to the power of the Divine.
I once again express my prayers for you and my thanksgiving for the support and love on my missionary journey. You are such a great gift from the Lord.
More power and God bless you.
Valentine's Day is fast approaching. This is not much celebrated here in Africa, but I still keep the tradition in my heart as we celebrate the day of love. I assure you that my love is embracing your soul as I do to my family and friends. Know that my love, like yours, is also a fruit of God's love, full of hope and courage, in spite of the many trials.
We keep always on talking about the Heart of Jesus - which is full of love and compassion. But I wonder too how are we living in the image of the Sacred Heart, wounded because of the sins of the world, but at the same time, expressing peace and resurrection because of His great love.
You are an inspiration to me! We may express that language of our hearts in different ways, but we also say something, which is very much directed to our journey, to my journey - that is the offering of myself, and abandonment to the will of the Father. I FEEL THAT AT TIMES, THE LORD MAKES ME AN INSPIRATION TO OTHERS.
I am praying that in your practice of humility, you will identify yourself with Jesus more and more and hold His hand in your climb to holiness. Yes, it is very possible to happen. Sanctity of life is at hand. What have we done? Even myself, if given the chance, I want to reach sanctity of life - not as a position, but being possessed and positioned by God.
If the Lord had allowed me to see the meaning of my life in the previous years, I am very certain that He will do it to me again and again. All I have to do is to hang on, be patient for his time. I know this is difficult, but into hHs hands, I commend my soul.
I am wishing all the best in life. Looking at my mission, I feel very much strengthened in a very special way. I am very grateful to the Lord for helping me to cope with all the demands.
There is a need for us to storm heaven with our prayers and invocations. God knows what we want. He wants us to personally cast our nets- even in shallow and muddy water. The saints will never be frightened, but they will work with delight.
"A long way to go.", that is my line. In fact, unending. I realized that my mission is full of uncertainties. In Philippines we have this saying "Bahala na lang ang Diyos" (Rest all things to God)- this would be my active resignation of my weaknesses to the power of the Divine.
I once again express my prayers for you and my thanksgiving for the support and love on my missionary journey. You are such a great gift from the Lord.
More power and God bless you.
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