Sitting Around the Fire: Sharing the Warmth of the Lord

This is just a separate reflection of my Safari mission in Kasweta, as we normally do when I am around.

As evening comes, with all the children and some families nearby, we sit around the fire and pray the Rosary. It is a beautiful image to see everybody sitting around the fire, praying, singing songs of Mary.
I have this imagination of Jesus and His disciples, sitting around the fire as Jesus is teaching and telling stories. They didn’t have electricity yet and by custom, fire plays a very important role in community setting. People get energy from His presence and drawn very much into His life. I am pretty much sure that they get warmth from the fire, but also the spiritual fire/warmth that Jesus had.

I don’t want to compare my mission in Kasweta as in the time of Jesus, I am nothing in comparison. But I could very much relate! I am relating the activities, the stories, sitting around, seriously listening to Him, the prayer with our fellow Christians, meeting, joking and getting warmth and energy from each other after their long day of work in the field.

Sitting around the fire is a time of relaxation but also for the community, pleasure and recreation, laughter and prayer. Sitting around the fire is the time for spiritual food.

I always find Kasweta a very unique mission in spite of the poverty of people (at times, extreme poverty), with no priest for 8 months every year because of the rainy season and the flood, which makes it impossible to cross the park. They remain isolated, but intact! They remain happy Catholics and strong believers.

Our simple bonfire and the activities within is a manifestation of God’s presence, love and care for His people. The bonfire gathers the community as another dimension of their daily living. Ours is special. With us visitors, priests and the whole team, the gathering around the fire is a gathering of followers. The stories are at times presented in songs and dances, drums and comical skits. The drums give meaning, the claps and the cheers and laughter are very essential!

These are just consequences of a bonfire, a gathering of family and friends. It can produce strong family union, prayer life and community living. Why not try it in your own family and community!!!!! You may revive drooping spirits when you pray together around the fire and share the warmth of the Lord in your prayers.

Grain of Wheat

There is a strange imagination that I had, during the celebration of the Holy Eucharist. I imagined that I was a grain of wheat. I was with hundreds of grain in one plant. In time of harvest, we were all filed up, stalk after stalk, until there was a huge heap of wheat. Then patiently, we were put in a thresher, and I was completely separated from my brothers and sisters in the same stalk. As if I was removed intentionally but with a hidden purpose. It was somehow a sad goodbye to my brothers and sisters. We were put in bags and bags, and I saw many different reflections of me, all wheat in millions! It was amazing to realize that we all have the same destinations, the same fate and we suffered the same separation. We were all laid, spread on a vast drier in the barn. We got dry, but started feeling refined by the heat of the sun.

One day, a man came in and removed the bag where I was in. Gosh, he brought us to the milling machine! I wanted to shout of fear and the possible pain. Imagine, we are going to be peeled and have to go through a painful process. There was no way for us to protest. We all humbly submitted ourselves in the hands of the man and the power of the machine. One by one, then hundreds and thousands, we entered into the hole and were peeled, and I saw how beautiful creatures we were! We were all facing joy, but great amazement of our transformation! We have become so refined!
More and more painful process, until we were all crushed into pieces. I was crushed a hundred times, until my body was almost invisible, a powder in a vast crowd of powdered grains. I was weighed, transferred from bags to bags, plastic to plastic, container to container and I was completely lost. I was there in thousands of file.

A refined hand handed some money to a shopkeeper and took me home. Imagine how gentle the hand was, sieving me to be more refined. The hand mixed me with water and gently and lovely, I was like a mass of dough. The activities were executed with full attention and care, until I was ready for his project. He formed me into small pieces of thin, white and crunchy bread, like a small coin and some were bigger than me. I was made into a host.

I was then passed from hands to hands, until I saw myself in the middle of hundreds of people praying. I was in the hands of a priest, a representative of the Lord. Suddenly, he laid his hands over me and prayed, and by the power of the Holy Spirit, the Lord entered into me, so that I was not just simple bread. I am already the Christ, offered once again in memory of my last supper with the disciples, as I did it for the sins of humanity.

That simple grain died on the ground, grew and bore a hundred fold, processed and transformed, blessed and became the living sacrifice. IT WAS ME!

Mission of Peter

Do you love me? …. Feed my lambs…

I could imagine the weight of the question. Raul, do you love me? It is such a question, not of doubt, but of certainty of God’s love. Three similar questions but in different tone and intensity. Peter was made of God’s love. He was anointed once again to become a disciple….”Come and follow me…!”

But, what about you Raul? I asked myself. How far do I love God? It is something really. How could my little soul answer such a heavy question? Yes I do! My soul was made an object of God’s love! That’s it! He made me think not just of simple loving, but deeper loving. I cannot love God more than He loves me. His love is beyond compare. Even if I have thousands of lives and love them tenderly, I cannot compare it with the love of God for me.

Jesus asked me if I love Him because He wanted to see if I have understood that deep love, that fullness of love that opens love, that generous love. When Christ loves, he loves no boundary or whatsoever. Jesus asked me at least three times because He knows it is impossible for me to love like him, but also I am so human in my answer, so he wanted to bring my soul to the spiritual level of loving- to give myself to Him and to others, without measure. Even if I am sinful, he knows that I cannot give more, but He takes away my weaknesses, even the dark spots of my life, that I may love in a higher and deeper degree.

Raul do you love me? Yes Lord, You know that I love you… Then, surrender yourself to me. I don’t need your sins and misgivings and mistakes and shortcomings. I have forgiven you and I only want you, your inner being, your heart, your soul, your feelings, emotions. I want your totality.

Jesus, by asking me such questions, re-anointed me too of a new vocation- “Go then and commit yourself. Move and be free!” It seems like that He is telling me, ‘Get lost of yourself and be free with me!’

Healing of the Lame Man

I could situate myself right away to the lame man in the Acts of the Apostles (3:1-10), taking my mother as my mirror (being bedridden, invalid for four years), and the many mentally handicapped people I worked with in Preston and with L’Arche Community, and the many old people I attended at Whittingham House and at Scalibrini House (both are nursing homes for old people). It must be difficult to accept their situations, and I always feel their pains, their tears of loneliness, of bitterness and of suffering.

But here is the man in the text who has been lame all his life. He was completely dependent on others, begging all day long for a living, for survival. I supposed, no matter how we would try to upgrade his life, his physical defects will always stop him, so that he was confined on begging.
Perhaps, this is really what my soul has to go through, a beggar for God’s love and attention. If I don’t feel the need of Him, something is wrong with my spiritual life. I would be proud. But of course I feel I have the responsibility of what I get from the Lord. The lame man, after his healing, entered the temple and rejoiced, and then, proclaimed loudly and joyfully the power of Jesus Christ. He was not the same of the nine lepers who were cured by Jesus but did not come back to thank the Lord.
On the other hand, it seems really that the Pentecost was breaking the fears of the disciples. They went out boldly and courageously proclaimed the power of the Spirit in the name of Jesus. Peter was very aware of the movement inside him. He spoke as if he was overtaken by thunder and roaring of the Spirit. He was very sure in his words and actions, so that he boldly told the man to stand up in the name of Jesus. There was no point of doubt in his mind and heart. The man expected money perhaps, but the poverty of Peter prompted him to help the man in spiritual matters- healing of body and soul.

Truly, when you are redirected to something, you feel not only relieved and secured, but also attended, accepted and loved. That was what Peter did, from the material needs of the man; he opened his eyes and assured him that there is something more, that there is somebody who can give more- that is Jesus Christ.

My soul’s journey is also marked with this danger- when I ran out of something, as if my world is ended, when I don’t have money, no computer, no paper or pen, no phone or no car, as if the mission is crippled. Then I only realized the strength within me when I stopped to redirect my orientations and expectations. It is a shame because I am a Religious, but it is a wealth too when you find the treasure within, given surprisingly by the Lord in your silence.

I always thought of the power within me. At times I could feel really powerful homilies, inspired words, letters of consolation and support, praises for my vocation and courage, and in some instances, little miracles that I hardly noticed, but have been passing through my life even in the silence of my sleeping. Yes, the Lord is passing. I only have to be aware. The lame man was not aware of Jesus in the person of Peter, but Peter was aware of the presence of Jesus in him, so he gave and shared the Jesus in him so that the lame man could also enjoy and share the Jesus in him with others.

Preacher of the Gospel

I have written many times of the nice comments from people about my preaching. I keep that joy in my heart and thank Him for the gift of preaching. I am not the best in preaching, I am not the best in many things, yet the Lord spared a time for me to reflect and deliver well His message. I feel uneasy when in the Mass there is no sermon. I always believe that preaching is part of our missionary activity. We preach about the Gospel, and it should eventually lead people to the Sacraments.

I love the thought, in fact a question: “How on earth the Lord allows me to listen deep in the heart of the person in the Sacrament of Reconciliation?” Just imagining the fact that you are listening to the secrets and sins of a person! Isn’t it so mysterious? Isn’t it such a sacred entity for a person, yet I am given that trust to listen and reflect together, and the responsibility to forgive in the Lord’s name?

It is beyond description for me, even if I am a priest, that gift from God to see a person coming to me, weak and vulnerable, a sinner, telling directly his sins in my eyes; asking interventions and my personal prayer. What a responsibility! But I also would like to ask forgiveness from the Lord for my light approach on this sacrament on some occasions. When they are many, as if they just become a normal job. But I feel this time there’s that great honor and responsibility!

I am always very strong in telling the people who don’t receive the Eucharist especially lay leaders of the church not receiving the Eucharist that this is ‘first class hypocrisy.’ People claim to be members of the Catholic Church but never receiving the Eucharist! It always awakens them. The Eucharist makes the community. He binds them together. The Eucharist makes the Church and people are taking it for granted. It is in the Eucharist that we break the bread and share the cup. But together, we also break our personality, our being and realize our weaknesses and work together to be whole again.

What a big calling! That is why I always emphasize the importance of the Eucharist. The Eucharist heals division between me and God, and it unites between me and the rest of the people. He is our daily food for the journey. He is the reason why I became priest, why I am here.

Psalm 131

“Lord, I have given up my pride and turned away from my arrogance. I am not concerned with great matters or with subjects too difficult for me. Instead, I am content and at peace. As a child rests quietly in its mother’s arms, so my heart is quiet within me. Israel trust in the Lord now and forever!”

My soul truly feels I am that Israel, called for such a humble trust and confidence to the Master. I am that proud Israel, who turned away from God, whose heart is stained with sin and deceit, whose arrogance maybe hidden but manifesting. Today, my soul is called not only to acknowledge all my inconsistencies but also my failures and shortcomings.

I love very much the image of the Child in the Mother’s Arms, peaceful and quiet, secured and given much warmth and protection. What came into my mind right away is the image of the Infant Jesus, at peace in the bosom of Mary.

My soul is nothing than that defenseless child, very vulnerable; not only sucking the energy of the mother, but also smelling and listening the breathing of the mother. If Mother-God will not take care of my soul, I will die and loses my meaning. But Mother-God is that Eagle, allowing my soul to soar up high in heaven, but also spreading His wings ready to catch me if I fall.

My soul has the ability to fly, gifted with wings. I winged up to the direction of the Sun, with my eyes so sharp, able to resist, even if my feelings were disturbed, even if my emotions were touched. I feel that my soul is trained for a battle of hardships and difficulties so that they became sweet and meaningful to me.

My soul is that little Eagle of God, gifted with a BEAK to crush my prey- hardships and troubles. I feast in every success of my Endeavour. I am that little Eagle of Christ, and I am named Israel by God. Yes, I am Israel and I will offer back to God what He has given to me, MYSELF.

Judas

I have never condemned Judas. When I was a novice, when I reflected his betrayal, I understood that he was an instrument used by Lucifer to spread the acts of deceit and greediness. The devil entered the heart of Judas so that he was changed completely, from goodness to deceit and betrayal.

I always remember in my prayer that first of all, he was chosen to be one of the greatest twelve disciples of Jesus, which for me, could mean that he possessed a certain ability that attracted Jesus, perhaps, cunning and smart. The sad thing is that he was overpowered by the power of evil and was blinded by his material desires and lure of money.

Indeed, he was a scandal, and that scandal is ever present in the Church up to the present moment. There is always the hunger for wealth and material satisfaction, even to us Religious, who vowed for a life of poverty and simple lifestyle. But today, the Church is also ever aware of this great weakness and we all struggled if not to overcome it, at least to weaken its power over people.

I have my own sinfulness too, perhaps, disgracing in the eyes of the Lord. I have desires and wants, the tendency for comfort and affection; and the sensual desires, to hold things dearly only for myself. But being aware of them all, I feel such strength also to face them, no matter how I struggle. All my sinfulness leads me, if not to my own conversion, at least to an understanding of my physical, moral and spiritual responsibilities. I thank the Lord that in the past, I failed and was tempted to sin, or else, I would not be able to recognize them at all. Passing through all my sinfulness, I gained insights and my experience of sin brought me back to my senses.

God simply took me out from comforts, from people, family and friends. God led my soul into the desert and presented to me who I was and what were my greatest and least failures. He made Himself into a ‘mirror’ so that I could see the evils within me. I saw hatred, anger, desires, senses, fleshly ambitions, wealth, fame, honour and all that I ever desired for satisfaction. He made Himself a ‘desert’ for my soul to wonder and to question: “How could I get out from all of these and be free?”

Yes, I was an imprisoned soul but set free. My soul obtained such a freedom after I betrayed the Lord. Perhaps, He intended the evil to tempt and to use me, but he also granted my soul such a deep spiritual understanding, that the evil was afraid many times of my gaze.


I am a sinner, but a forgiven one.

I betrayed but I repented- a forgiven one.

The Cross - In the Life of Blessed Daniel Comboni

One of the highlights of the Lineamenta for the XVI General Chapter of the Comboni Missionaries of the Heart of Jesus is the 'Charism and Spirituality of the Comboni Missionaries.' It reiterated the topic of the Cross, basing from Rule of Life #4: "In the spiritual journey of our founder, the cross became and always more inseparable companion. A Comboni Missionary is conscious of this, and places the Crucified, Risen and Living Lord at the centre of his life, and is ready to make his own fate of the people to whom he has been sent, even until the supreme sacrifice of martyrdom."

I thought therefore of having a special veneration of the Holy Cross, as we, the followers of Comboni are on the same journey, where we are 'called to accept and live the dynamic of hope, and to be in solidarity with all the crucified in history. In many of the talks given, we deepened our understanding of contemplation and prayer, as we also reflect the mystery of the Cross, and to make it the centre of our missionary life, so as to live profoundly the life of the One who is crucified.

I invite you to reflect of the grace of an acute awareness of our helplessness, as failures became part of our daily bread. We should look moments of our pains and anguish, which have lasting effects in our lives, so that we will have profound understanding of Christ's passion and resurrection.

In the life of our congregation, 'fidelity and total self-donation' remain our total commitment. In the community, we seek to enter into the Crucified, so that we 'may not shrink in front of difficulties, but to remain patient and strong in bearing solitude, weariness and the apparent futility of our work.'

I also invite you to enter into a dialogue with the Crucified Christ. Fix your gaze on the Cross and tell him whatever you have in your heart.

REFLECTION

Jesus recognized that society needs compassion and care. He was never afraid to show his affection and love, as he sided with the poorest, the oppressed and the outcast. He became a great challenge to his own Church and the society as his action manifested a revolt.

Jesus' experience should challenge us to become aware of the darkness in the world and the oppressing structures that exploits people and their dignity and rights of decent living. As what I have said in my invitation, we need to enter into the life of the Crucified, who was completely stripped off other dispositions and was crowned with scandal and shame. We too, stripped off other's dispositions; we too do not look directly on the face of the person or straight into the depth of his eyes. Jesus was denied of his story, as we deny the story of our brothers/sisters.

The Crucified leaves a lasting impression. We are invited to enter into his life and deep in our souls, we begin to see others, to engage stories, to read the signs of the times and its challenges. As Comboni Missionaries, vowed for mission, there is nowhere to hide. Our consecration, on which, we allowed to be nailed on the Cross with Christ, ignites zeal for the establishment of the Kingdom of God.

The 'Consecrated Life of the Third Millennium' affirmed this, saying: "Consecrated to Christ and to the service of His Kingdom, their witness in following Him, has brought them to the point of the Cross (…) It is not the pain that brings us to the Cross, but rather the cause.

Kenosis

“Jesus emptied Himself; He became poor and simple as other human beings are.” (cf. Jn 3:16; Phil 2:6-11)

I love this other image of the Kenosis (Greek for “emptiness”) of Jesus. He made Himself small. He understands His mission, the plans of the Father and His mercy to the people. That is why, when I go and stay in the villages, another Kenosis is in my missionary experience. I should become a servant to people, so that people see in me the merciful Father.

God is using mercy with me. He is in me as I insert myself into the hearts of people. God is empowering my personality. I am not that powerful person among them, but the servant minister, taken in God’s name as His messenger. This is the reason for the call to live in humility, being a servant, a humble servant.

I always believe myself, where there is humility, there is also poverty. The poverty of my spirit, simple lifestyle and moderation. We should follow Christ, who was rich but made Himself poor, so that in His poverty, we become rich. Jesus emptied Himself, a real challenge on my part. To live in poverty is part of my missionary journey, though I could not really be that completely materially poor as the local people are.

I also acknowledge that two contrasts are found in my personality, the richness and poverty, the meek lamb and the fierce wolves, greedy and generous in some sense. How to work out so that the goodness would shine? That is the call to live in humility, because out of humility, generosity, kindness, concern and sharing follow.

In the manner of my commitments, how many hours do I spend for work and for God? At times, we complain in so many things. At times, in Chikowa, I feel so disgusted with the brothers always complaining about food and other things. I don’t know if they are really that rich in their homes. This is not racial discrimination, but I have seen a lot of African confreres complaining what are on the table, what is in the structure, what are in the programs, what are in the store rooms etc. Are they really living in abundance since childhood? Then, they are so lucky!

We are to rejoice on what is so set for us! I have seen a lot of confreres quarrelling about money, about properties in the house, wanting to own them, even television channels, because others are not contributing for the 10% as they come from poor countries, what hypocrisy! As missionaries, we are not productive in terms of money. We are not managers of what we receive, what we produce. We share!

New Year Thoughts

"The light shines in the darkness."

So we come to this day, the last day of the year 2010. How time flies so fast, we are now on the year ending. How do you see the end of your year? Maybe you have seen only what is the year ending in your place. Some of you who have televisions, you would see clearly that the year is still ending with dangerous movements and fear- terrorism, frightening crimes, natural disasters, volcano eruptions, flood, energy and economic crises. There is darkness in the world because of the sins of humanity.

But in Proverbs 14:26, it says: "In the fear of the Lord there is a strong confidence, and His children will have a place of refuge." The Lord is the Help, the Shield and the Light. He is born, and now, we are going to start anew. We enter into a new life, a new beginning, leaving behind the sins of the past and to work out the future. In the parish, we always have the year ending meeting, an evaluation of the whole year and making Action Plans for the year to come 2011. First of all, we have to be thankful to the Lord for the events in 2010, we will count our blessings again, reflect our sins and lapses, even the moments of trials. See the wonders the Lord has done in our lives! When we acknowledge that greatness and trust in the Lord, then the light has shown in our lives. He will become our refuge from the fears in this world. In Him, we find peace.

Today is the last day of 2010, and then it means we have to welcome a new one. In a few hours we will say goodbye 2010. Was 2010 a year of promotion for you? Was it a year of abundance, fruitful, wedding, birth? Was 2010 a year of achievement for you? How did you succeed? For other people 2010 was a year of death, a year of losing job, of business bankruptcy, a year of accident, or broken relationship. It was a year of setback.

It is New Year by 24:00 or 12:00 midnight. It is time to reflect and to make some New Year's Resolutions. It would be another time and year. This is precisely the reason why God divided time into months and years, seasons and cycles, past, present and future. So that in the past, we can have a place to bury our mistakes, in the present, we can see the mark of our success, and in the future, we can see the place where we can peg our hopes and dreams and ambitions.
We are on the last hours of 2010, and as soon as 24:00 ends and 00:01 ticks the clock, a new year begins, a new hope in the Lord. Today offer to the Lord your failures of the past and your hopes for the New Year. He is the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end. Make the Logos (Word) become flesh in you, allow yourself to grow as a Christian, able to speak the words of God with trust and faith, and with confidence. Be a good parent to the Logos.

Bearers of Christ

“A plan was revealed to Mary, and immediately, she went out to serve.” This is not quoted in the Bible, but I want to translate it in this way. She moved, she was feeling something mysterious and miraculous. She did not waste time. She became a missionary herself. She left immediately!

What a beautiful image! I have to do the same. We missionaries have to do the same- ready to move because something mysterious and miraculous is happening among our brothers and sisters. Zambia, Malawi and other mission areas in the world, we have to move, be ready when our service is needed.

The encounter of the two women is always an icon for me. Mary, the young girl, Elizabeth, old and barren, called to become mothers, called to be instruments in the plan of salvation. Mary was young and vulnerable, Elizabeth was old and vulnerable, yet in their vulnerabilities, the Lord called them to become His instruments.

There was also the encounter of Jesus and John. In Mary’s greetings, something was provoked inside. John leapt for joy! Elizabeth recognized the role of Mary: “Why should I be honored by the visit of the mother of my Lord?”

We are honored! Mary facilitated of the presence of the Lord. She facilitated our journey to become followers of Jesus, her Son. She facilitated that Christ be born and be closer to people.

This is my vocation too- To bring Christ, to preach Christ and His works, to administer the Sacraments so that people will receive Christ. In our work of facilitation, we make people touch Christ. We become bearers of Jesus Christ. “It is no longer I, but Christ lives in me."

We need that strong faith in the Son of Mary, the Son of God. I owe Jesus my life because of His choice for me. I have His heart, He has mine. I become a contagious presence of Christ to people in my speech. I need that faith: “Be filled with everything that is true, admirable and good.”

I Am Not That Famous Priest

I sat down in silence
And thought about my priestly life.
Images started rolling and a movie was presented to me.
I saw myself,
The actor in the most rural places of my mission,
The bringer of God’s message,
The minister and pastor.
Yet, I am not that famous priest.

I bless the dead,
Anoint the sick
And visit the needy.
I celebrate the Eucharist
and everyone is looking at me,
Amazed of this white priest in the midst of black human beings.
Yet I am not that famous priest.

People came for reconciliation,
For advice and celebration.
People prepare exotic food
And rejoice at my presence.
Yet, I am not that famous priest.

I sleep in villages,
On the ground like them.
I eat with them around the fire,
Chat and dance with them.
They cheer:
‘With Fr. Raul there is nothing for us to fear.’
Yet, I am not that famous priest.

I am just one among them,
But among us is the famous priest.
I am nothing compared to Him.
He is the reason of our celebration,
Of our rejoicing.
He is the famous priest.

He celebrates,
Bless the dead, anoint the sick,
Reconciles broken relationships.
He is the reason why I am here.
The material preparation from people for me
Are just manifestations of the goodness of the famous priest.

The famous priest is using His servant-
To dine with the poor,
To rejoice with the needy,
To celebrate with His people,
To reach the broken hearted,
To chat, to console the lonely
And to bring His people back to Him.

I am nothing in His hands
Than a little slave,
And I am happy to live
As a slave to His love.
Jesus is His name.
He is the famous priest.

What? Jesus' Body Is Infected With HIV/AIDS?

I was invited to participate in a three-day workshop on PASTORAL CARE ON HIV/AIDS FOR PRIESTS AND RELIGIOUS, which was sponsored by the Health Desk and Home-based Care at Chikhungu Pastoral Centre. It was participated by Priests, Sisters and Brothers. We were 36 participants including the Bishop of Chipata Diocese, George Lungu. He was then wearing a white shirt with prints: “RESPONSIBLE LEADERS KEEP THEIR PROMISE AND LEAD BY EXAMPLE.” There was a special guest, whom we just called Cecy, a forty-five year old woman, an HIV/AIDS fighter but also HIV/AIDS positive. The purpose of the workshop was for us, at the end, to be able to draft a Diocesan Health Policy, which may take a possible view of any priests and Religious brothers and sisters to be contacted with the virus, either from family blood, ministry and pastoral works or infidelity. I was very touched of the question of our Pastoral Coordinator, asking us all: What would be our reaction when we see our fellow priests, brothers and sisters dying with HIV/AIDS? What does HIV/AIDS pandemic is telling us theologically? Isn’t it very alarming?

In Zambia, HIV/AIDS prevalence is almost twice as high in urban as in rural areas. Of 2,073 women aged 15-46 tested for HIV, 17.8% were positive. Of 1,734 men tested, 12.9% were positive. It is said that in Zambia, out of 11 million people, there are about 1.2 million people reported, infected with the virus, and yet, there are still more who are in hiding, some are infected but not aware and some died who are not reported. In some other places, there are constant increases of infections, especially to women who are still in their reproduction stage. According to Dr. Alan Chisenga (Sorry, I am not sure of the correct spelling), some factors involved are local or traditional beliefs, Illiteracy and lack of proper education, stigma and discrimination, socio-economic and gender. He said that HIV/AIDS can be prevented by Abstinence, Being Faithful (as multiple sexual partners increase the chance of acquiring HIV), and use of condom (which was a battle of debate) and the proper use of drugs.

The Bishop started in his introductory little message: “How do you feel?” He added that today, there is a spiritual battle, emotional and psychological sufferings. And it is very alarming; all of us, people of God are targets of HIV/AIDS. Innocent children are potential targets, much more the priests and Religious brothers and sisters. People know that we are human beings, that there is arousal and need. Many people are innocently led into sin. By a short stroke, the bishop mentioned on the use of mobile phones, which is slowly implanting in us the sense of out-of-focus, we send and receive messages which have inner intentions, and it created in us a need. He further added our ‘humanness’, the longing for relationship. Now, the question remains: What does it mean for us to be committed to the Lord? What does it mean to recognize our own senses, community life, celibate life etc? He closed his little introduction with these invitations: Change of attitude towards life, more responsibility and to be real witnesses of the stigma.

As the doctor was explaining the medical side of HIV/AIDS, my mind was also recollecting of the many instances I met people completely sick and dying with the virus, the skinny and bonny bodies, walking skeletons, dark spots on their faces, the complication with tuberculosis, meningitis, diarrhoea, constant discharge, passing blood and the smelly bodies. I never thought of these before, but I was so horrified after hearing the doctor. Poverty is a factor of transmission aside from religious issues. On the top of these, it created discrimination in the community and self-discrimination. Others don’t look good anymore, so they need proper care and support.

Home-based Care is a Non-Government Organization in the diocese. It is a program for provision of care and support for clients (Infected and affected with HIV/AIDS) in their environment. The care and support include medical, physical, psychological, spiritual and material. We discussed the importance of Voluntary Counselling and Testing (VCT), especially knowing the status of the person and help him to have a positive living, then get a good medication and to minimized the transmission of the virus. The person then can have a peace of mind and be able to protect himself/herself.

Though there were negative sides mentioned, such as fear and stigma, one could live a careless lifestyle after knowing the status, others could waste resources (I will die after all), loss of vocation and discrimination and etc., It is still felt that there is more meaning in having VCT. The diocese of Chipata is very concerned now of the status of people, priests and religious, thereby, proposing some training personnel from our group to be able to assist properly. There are a lot of plans laid down for the future, workshops and trainings, hospices, counselling and more, which are more geared to the future of our diocese. I find this move meaningful but also alarming as if it is already there amongst priests and Religious.

We travelled back at the culture of people, which was a sharing and reflection of Fr. Mark Kaingo. He started saying that God is giving us a treasure which is intended for good use, but meanwhile, the treasure is lost and it has to be recovered. He was very specific in cultures, like Nsenga, Chewa, Tumbuka and Kunda, of which the topic on sexuality is like a taboo, heavily restricted to certain age groups. Sexuality is a fire of life which should not be played upon. He said that traditional sexuality is sacred and therefore, should be respected. It is a powerful tool to promote life, not to abuse life. For example, in local traditions, there is always a separation of boys and girls and their roles in the house and community. Virginity is emphasized and so, traditional initiations were strengthened. He reflected further, that at present society, the village or community is already infected with HIV/AIDS, leading to death and destruction. Traditional view has been challenged heavily. In the same way, lifestyle is emphasized on individual freedom and ends on materialism. There is lack of seriousness. With the presence of modern techniques, videos, phones and films, youth are starting to grave for many things, including sexual pressures.

On the side of priests and religious, there is unlimited freedom too. And I was really reflecting on this through and through. Many have no proper guidance as they move for their own assignments. At times, prayer is reduced and spiritual direction is left. In a sense, there is carelessness and personal efforts are missing. Fr. Mark said that today: there is a strong loss of collective consciousness, no reference, no guiding principles. People often move where they like without asking permission. He jokingly but also seriously added: We use phones and radios without respecting others. There is a desire to be anybody else. Our being priests, brothers and sisters are like second hand cloth, we want to have the latest model of everything. Isn’t it a pity? It is indeed. First and foremost, we donated our bodies for the sake of the kingdom of God, but today, many of us build our own kingdoms, to meet our own goals, not His Goal. There is a need! We want satisfaction! If we don’t have the resources, what are going to do??? From these, a poor priest or brother and sister, who want to answer his/her needs, may do something harmful. How can we run away from HIV/AIDS? We would like to live only for today, not for the future. We lack proper planning. There is complacency in Religious and Celibate life, and oftentimes, we are not true to ourselves. What is then our prophetic role as priests and Religious? The more I was led into deep thinking. We often talk the correct reading of the signs of the times and proper discernment, yet we move on the other direction. Are we really relevant to the present situation of our people? How?

I have entitled this short reflection in a surprising line: WHAT? JESUS’ BODY IS INFECTED WITH AIDS? I reflected on humanity, the Church, the spouse of Christ, the Holy Body of the Temple, now in real suffering and pains. The Body of Christ is infected with HIV/AIDS. Today, the Church of Christ is living in infidelity and abuse of the body. But Fr. Cleophas Lungu said: “Today is the time of HIV/AIDS, but today, is also the time of the Kairos, a moment of truth, as people are struggling to be how they are and who they are going to be. Today is the moment of grace, there is an encounter with Jesus on the face of our brothers and sisters who are suffering of HIV/AIDS. Today is the moment to administer peace and love. Today is an opportune time for us to become channels of compassion and love.”

Isn’t it beautiful? HIV/AIDS pandemic is challenging our definition of God as a loving Father. Some said that it also challenges the salvific acts of Jesus as Saviour; it challenges our understanding of the sacraments, especially on marriage, the goals of procreation and fidelity. Today, I really feel that HIV/AIDS is no longer a medical crisis; it is a crisis of our faith. Yet, Fr. Lungu said strongly that Jesus’ response to suffering was always compassion and love. He said that what we are called to do is perhaps to share the Cross of Christ. “There is a vocation (not philosophical- Why? Why?), to show that our suffering is connected to the Cross of the Lord.” But how can we claim that Jesus is our personal saviour when amongst us are people suffering and dying of HIV/AIDS? Fr. Lungu answered beautifully: “Ireneaus said: God created us without us, but he cannot save us without our involvement.” Are we, as priests, brothers and sisters willing to participate in this plan of God? Such a heavy question to reflect! I was so touched with this line. He added then: “Our suffering is a continuation in what Jesus did to save the world, and our commitment is our personal involvement.”

I was deeply moved by the responses of the group when we were asked to do some creative imagination on ‘what could be the words of Jesus for you as a priest, brother or sister living with HIV/AIDS positive. Others have answered it beautifully: Jesus would probably say ‘I am deeply moved by your situation.” It speaks clearly of the loving and compassionate God. Others said: “What do you want me to do for you?” I recalled many instances when Jesus met the blind man, the other sick people who were begging for healing. Others said: I assure you my great love. You are precious in my eyes.” I recall of the many times Jesus looking intently and lovingly on many sick people- ‘I have not come not for the well but to those who are in need of a doctor.’ I love most of the line “Have courage for I am with you always.” For me, Jesus never gets tired of telling everybody His love and compassion. He is a tender loving God, but Fr. Cleophas said: Jesus is also tough minded and He puts force in His words. His love challenges conversion and change. “He is not offering cheap life, for sickness is not just a matter of the body, but it is also related to one’s behaviour.”

Bishop Gorge Lungu re-echoed what the Bishops in Africa have reflected. We should tell those who are infected and affected with the HIV/AIDS virus, “We are in solidarity with you.” “Let us be true to ourselves.” “Let us be responsible” and “Let us change our behaviours.” He said, HIV/AIDS is real and we should be open to tell it to our community, to encourage the community to have a positive attitude towards the infected ones. As I was seeing the situation in this country, I really feel and strongly urge the government and all people for proper education, to be able to respond the needs of the infected and affected, but to let people know the devastating effect of our behaviours towards sex. The church is always calling for the change of heart. Moral, spiritual and pastoral issues are to be re-enforced. We have to realize that all of us have these needs because as priests and religious, we always look up to ourselves as pastoral agents, not accepting that we need pastoral care ourselves.

Fr. Cleophas Lungu, recapped his sharing with the Theological virtues of faith, hope and charity, ‘that we must fight the HIV/AIDS pandemic with hope and charitable compassion. He added the cardinal and moral virtues of courage, prudence, temperance and justice. As people of God, we should have the courage to go and search for our infected and affected brothers and sisters; to come out to the open and to confront our lives. Prudence is in the sense of answering our sexual longings. “Alcohol induced sex” and if we are not prudent enough to say no, we are led into another trouble. Temperance, to control ourselves, to abstain and then to be just, not ruining lives of others.

The Bishop, in his last words, said: If we have no roots with the High Priest, our chance of survival is low. Jesus is very soft with us (love and compassion), but we are rough sometimes with our brothers and sisters.” It is true, there is no worse rejection than to be rejected by our own brothers and sisters. He gave an example on Zacchaeus, who was transformed completely by Jesus’ acceptance of him as a public sinner. ‘Then there was a new release of energy to do good.’ And I close my reflection: We are always reflections of hope. God always sees and He never ignores our strivings.

I hope and pray that you are all right. Keep all my love and prayers.

Incorporation Of Souls

I sat silently and with closed eyes, I imagined the Blessed Sacrament like a torch, giving light to my wandering mind. I was a bit disturbed and so I tried to settle down and reflected what my soul is going through in the past days. Suddenly, in seconds, flashed in my mind the idea of ‘incorporation of souls’, which many mystics must have experienced. I am far from being a mystic, and I am not worthy to be one. But I felt that deep inside me, I was communicating, something I don’t know, and something I could not explain. All I know is that my soul was communicating in deep silence.

I thought of it another day
And I realized that when I offer God the people I have met during the day,
When I think of them dearly
And place them into His care
That means ‘incorporation of souls.’

That when I move around the villages
Be one with the people and living in their poverty
And when I carry them all with enthusiasm and joy
That is ‘incorporation of souls.’

Incorporation means ‘merging’,
It is ‘absorption’; it is ‘integration’,
It is ‘oneness’- there is a crazy thought as ‘amalgamation’- to join up.
When I place people into the Hands of the Lord, that means I integrate my soul with them.

Above all, I understood
That when I give my own soul into His care,
My soul does not belong to me anymore, but me in Him,
Because both our souls are incorporated into one.
Therefore, I took it as my personal challenge,
That when I pray, it should make my soul free and empty,
So that we could be incorporated,
Me to be filled up by Him and Him to absorb my soul.

I looked back from a distance and I felt shame because I am far from spiritual incorporation.
My soul is too vain.
But I realized too that if Jesus allowed to be one with my soul,
Even with the stain of sinfulness,
He could still make my soul bright and polished.