Peter's Denial

There is something beautiful that I have discovered in this short narrative. The maidservant told Peter that ‘he must be one of the disciples of Jesus, and it was followed with two others, but Peter denied right away, and he even swore that he did not know anything about Jesus.

Here, Peter denied his identity, especially with his connection with Jesus, who was supposed to be his foundation. Peter loses not only his identity but also his dignity. He has been with Jesus for at least three years, how can he afford to deny Jesus when in fact, people are seeing them together every day? “I don’t know him!” A total denial of the Lord and of himself, which actually means, ‘I am nobody!’ He was lost and he has nowhere to go. He was enveloped with fear.

Then the cock crowed and the Lord looked straight at Peter. I could imagine the encounter. It must be shameful! The prediction of the Lord came true, and he was there face to face with the Lord. He, shivering with fear and guilt, and Jesus trembling with pains, so sorry for Peter, and yet, He looked at Peter with all love and compassion

I could imagine myself. Jesus looking at me with eyes of love and compassion. I need to! I have to identify myself on Christ, especially on the cross where he is hanging. My identity is there. My dignity is there hanging on the cross. Without the cross, what is the meaning of my missionary life? The Crucified Christ is the mirror where we could see our lives again, be reconciled and healed.
The encounter of Peter with Christ was an encounter of love. It is basically the same with our encounter with Christ; it is of love, a meeting of two hearts in love. It is the experience of total love of God for me, no matter how sinful I am. The love of Christ is poured upon, upon my misery. The torn body of Christ, bathed with blood heals my misery.

The encounter with Christ renewed Peter. He was given life again. It was a renewal of discipleship. It is the renewal of my discipleship. The cross brought me to an understanding of the Cross: ‘Look Raul how I paid for your sins!’

Comboni Way: Kissing of the Cross

Part of this reflection has been based from the book "Called to be Witnesses."

For Comboni, the Cross provided a mystical experience. The Cross was a friend, light and support, his precious companion, gentle, comfort, treasure, sweet burden, inseparable and eternal spouse.

He had a mystical marriage with the Cross, and he was aware that without the Cross, missionary work is not effective. We must go through the 'Crucible of the Cross.' Comboni admitted that God has made for him a road that of the Cross. The Cross is the wisdom for Comboni, for he believed that it is not possible to serve a crucified people without being crucified with them. I have seen in fact, the greatest challenge of carrying our own crosses walking through unforeseeable future, to go where the Lord would bring us.

In his deep emotional pain, Comboni said: "I thank God for all the crosses. My life is an ocean of worries brought on me by those who are good and who love me." Worn-out, overburdened and exhausted, with constant attack of fever, he wrote: "The Cross is the royal road which must be travelled by those who want to arrive at the triumph." This is precisely the way of offering our lives to God, reduced by our own human powerlessness so that all might come from His strength.

I see very much where our souls are being led- into complete uncertainty, confirming faith of the Church, sometimes in hidden witnessing, engaging into the Church of martyrs. We just have to be happy and faithful, for our offering, as vowed for mission is truly an authentic sign to our society.

With the conviction that God's works grow where he sends the Cross, Comboni kissed the Cross and pressed it into his heart: "Only the Cross has the strength to work miracles."

In the spirit of our founder and in deep veneration of the Holy Cross, let us give our thanksgiving and love as we also kiss the Cross.

The Cross - In the Life of Blessed Daniel Comboni

One of the highlights of the Lineamenta for the XVI General Chapter of the Comboni Missionaries of the Heart of Jesus is the 'Charism and Spirituality of the Comboni Missionaries.' It reiterated the topic of the Cross, basing from Rule of Life #4: "In the spiritual journey of our founder, the cross became and always more inseparable companion. A Comboni Missionary is conscious of this, and places the Crucified, Risen and Living Lord at the centre of his life, and is ready to make his own fate of the people to whom he has been sent, even until the supreme sacrifice of martyrdom."

I thought therefore of having a special veneration of the Holy Cross, as we, the followers of Comboni are on the same journey, where we are 'called to accept and live the dynamic of hope, and to be in solidarity with all the crucified in history. In many of the talks given, we deepened our understanding of contemplation and prayer, as we also reflect the mystery of the Cross, and to make it the centre of our missionary life, so as to live profoundly the life of the One who is crucified.

I invite you to reflect of the grace of an acute awareness of our helplessness, as failures became part of our daily bread. We should look moments of our pains and anguish, which have lasting effects in our lives, so that we will have profound understanding of Christ's passion and resurrection.

In the life of our congregation, 'fidelity and total self-donation' remain our total commitment. In the community, we seek to enter into the Crucified, so that we 'may not shrink in front of difficulties, but to remain patient and strong in bearing solitude, weariness and the apparent futility of our work.'

I also invite you to enter into a dialogue with the Crucified Christ. Fix your gaze on the Cross and tell him whatever you have in your heart.

REFLECTION

Jesus recognized that society needs compassion and care. He was never afraid to show his affection and love, as he sided with the poorest, the oppressed and the outcast. He became a great challenge to his own Church and the society as his action manifested a revolt.

Jesus' experience should challenge us to become aware of the darkness in the world and the oppressing structures that exploits people and their dignity and rights of decent living. As what I have said in my invitation, we need to enter into the life of the Crucified, who was completely stripped off other dispositions and was crowned with scandal and shame. We too, stripped off other's dispositions; we too do not look directly on the face of the person or straight into the depth of his eyes. Jesus was denied of his story, as we deny the story of our brothers/sisters.

The Crucified leaves a lasting impression. We are invited to enter into his life and deep in our souls, we begin to see others, to engage stories, to read the signs of the times and its challenges. As Comboni Missionaries, vowed for mission, there is nowhere to hide. Our consecration, on which, we allowed to be nailed on the Cross with Christ, ignites zeal for the establishment of the Kingdom of God.

The 'Consecrated Life of the Third Millennium' affirmed this, saying: "Consecrated to Christ and to the service of His Kingdom, their witness in following Him, has brought them to the point of the Cross (…) It is not the pain that brings us to the Cross, but rather the cause.

Holy Hating

Looking at the human level, there is a kind of great impossibility in the commands of Jesus: hating the family, and all possessions just to be Jesus' disciples. When I left my family, especially my sickly mother at that time, it was more of a pain. I was thinking of many of us, who are suffering emotionally because a member of a family is sick.

Jesus said, “Anyone of you who does not renounce his possessions couldn't be my disciple, and those who does not carry his cross and come after me cannot be my disciples.” He must be mad to tell people in his culture and time to tell this! His words are truly imperatives but also very revolutionary. To whom did he get this authority to tell people like this? This must be peoples' reaction. Yet, he sounds very attractive up to now. Inasmuch as many hated him, many also liked and worshipped his power and authority.

As I reflected this one, three points came into my mind. Firstly, I have realized that the greatest command is not for the good of one but for the community. Carry the cross of your community. It is just like telling each one, you and me, that in a community, I do not have to evade the other, or walk ahead the other, but to walk gently and help him carry his weaknesses.

There is a beautiful image depicted by Jesus- that is building the tower. Perhaps, our tendency is to build our own tower, fully secured and guarded, so that nobody will meddle with our privacy and our personal businesses. In each one, we have our high tower- the ego, walled up high with pride and strong projection of personality. Why, because I want to escape from others' intervention. The question: Are we willing to leave the tower and destroy the security from it?

The second point that touched me deeply from this Gospel is the cost. Dealing with money for a long time, I have this idea of cost and its effect on our budget. Here, I am thinking of the cost of isolation, being away and isolated from others. Would this be productive on my growth? Jesus mentions on the cost of building the tower. Have I calculated the effect on my construction of the ego tower in connection to my relationships with others? I could be very harsh and direct when I am upset or offended. What is its effect on me?

Perhaps, I miscalculated this aspect, so that I left behind my crumpled relationships, unable to bear personalities. It must be good that in my silence, I would build my own monument and worship my personality and in great awe, adore the height of my tower. In relationships, there is always unfinished business, especially if we build it for possession and exclusivity; to the one we are most comfortable.

Jesus reminds us that the best cost of our isolation and detachment from those we love and things dear to us is to integrate it into a meaningful way of living, into many relationships, not of exclusivity. Jesus was very deliberate too in saying that the cost of this separation is pain. And I say, "There is no complete togetherness without painful separation. When we are uprooted, we are also called to "bloom where we are planted.

Jesus has a kind of "holy hating" towards family and relations in order to express openly the joy of his commitments. This leads to my third point; that in following him, we are required to give complete abandonment and total commitment. I am sure Jesus was very joyful in his mission of spreading the kingdom of the Father. There must be a lot of instances where Jesus laughed, called, sang and danced with his disciples as they were proclaiming the kingdom.

This is also to be a community. Our "Priory" lifeis meant to be of relationship, of building trust and support, of being conscious of the cost of the ego-tripping and its effect. It is my prayer that all of us may experience that pain of separation and detachment so that we could fully attach ourselves into His image; and able to commit as a community for the kingdom. I leave open the challenge to each one: Bloom where you are planted.