“Why me? Why God punished me like this?”

My dearest one,

Peace and God bless.

These are probably sad and shocking realities, but on going. I hope that when you read this, you will value the importance of life, especially the poorest and the most abandoned; and for your own life too, to be always grateful to the Lord for what He has done in your life.

Last Saturday, an old man approached me and asked help, to collect his grandchild from the farm and bring her to the village. He informed me in advance that the child died two days ago. Without any hesitation, I said yes, not thinking of the difficulties of the road and the distance inside the village. It was far and the road was really difficult, with a lot of thorns and shrubs, which could possibly cause puncture of my wheels on the way.

We arrived in the village and I just saw few women and men. The grandmother greeted me and the women were just silently sitting at the sides of the small hut. I asked them to prepare everything and put the body at the back of the car. Some of them climbed to accompany the family. The body was there laid on the ground, rotten, with sores on her body. She was just probably 10-11 years old, died of HIV-AIDS, wrapped in dirty blanket and clothes. They decided just to lift her with the mat, which for me was really a pity. The mat was so dirty and full of holes and completely torn. That manifested how terribly she died and how poor they are.
I brought them in the village and we were greeted with crying and mourning of women, which is very much a tradition here. I just kept silent, observing them, but deep inside me, I was in pain too. What a sad reality! Yet this is very much going on. The HIV-AIDS pandemic is beyond control! Young and old are infected. Once a woman asked me: “Why me? Why God punished me like this?” I remained speechless. How could I answer such a question?

October 1, the following day, together with another priest and lay volunteer and a Comboni brother, we went to my zone. The priest was supposed to have a mass at the other side, I was supposed to meet the leaders of the outstation and the Brother was supposed to conduct a retreat to our youth. Our programs were all suspended when we received sad news of one of our youth (girl). She was fiercely attacked by an elephant and was smashed completely.

We decided to have the mass instead, and the whole village came, the church was packed with people from different churches. The body was rotten already and produced a terrible smell. During the blessing, they opened the coffin and I saw that she was wrapped in black rubbish plastic bag. Since the beginning of the mass, I was already suffering stomach upset because of the smell. But I went on till the end.

I asked them how did she die. They said that she went to buy fish with another young man to a nearby camp inside outside the park. They went by bicycle. She was the first one to see the elephant and shouted in fear. The boy ran to the other side. Since she was shouting and the elephant doesn’t like to be disturbed, she was chased and got lost. She was not found during the night and day after. They found her completely decaying, head was smashed and eyes came out and jaw dislocated, and more horrible descriptions you can imagine.

This is another sad reality, the human and animal conflict. Lives have been wasted. For many times, people doesn’t understand restricted areas, doesn’t respect places for wild animals, entering into dangerous places even with constant warnings and notices. I don’t know really what the solution for this conflict is! Unless we respect nature, mother earth and wild inhabitants, we will always remain a prey to each other. This is just my personal reflection.

There will be more accidents like this, there will be more lives wasted because of HIV-AIDS and at times, effects of human carelessness and abuses. There will be more wailing and mourning. There will be more broken-hearted and floods of tears. More and more... until when? God knows...


Lots of love,
Raul