Yahweh Knows Me

"Yahweh,You know me…" (Psalm 138/139)

I entered into this psalm, which is always a message of self-awareness. I wrote this after an instruction during our retreat.

Yahweh, you know me. God knows me! I felt that line very much! Amazing and overwhelming realization! Everything of me is known by God. Nothing is hidden in my life without Him knowing. It is amazing to realize this though! God of course, has created me in His own image and likeness; therefore, He called me for a partnership. He called me into a relationship. He has taken that initiative of our closeness. My being a Comboni Missionary is not just my own desire. God desired that one for me, that I may follow Him in a special way.

I was also filled with awe; I sat down silently, realizing that God is interested in my being Raul, not anybody else. Therefore, I should not live in pretensions, but to admire and to be grateful of my uniqueness. Being that child of God, I should be aware too of His parental guidance, because He searches for me, looks after me. I am that child Raul, who is forgiven, loved and has grown up in a relationship. Therefore, my life should always be a life of self-giving and self-donation.

I looked back in the past, in my journey up to now, so many feelings of pains, failures and tears. I realized that somehow, even in a supportive and loving family, I am a wounded being, but I share with the wounds of the world; and at times, I don’t have time to look after of my own. Now is the moment, the time for prayer and silence, to open my wounds and to allow the Lord to attend to them and heal them.

In the same way, there were also a lot of chances in my life that I have missed. There were privileges that would have been mine, but since I did not take them into deep consideration, they just slipped away, not aware of their goodness to me.

Now, I am claiming them back. In my prayers, I have to own them as if they happened in my life. God is there to help me. It is God’s purpose that I am alive, so that I may work out what I have missed in my life. Such was God’s purpose. He takes pleasure in me, despite of my brokenness and littleness.

I am that little David, hidden probably, yet God searched for me; and when He found me, He held me tight so that I may not slip away. He hedged me round with His loving arms. Therefore, I thank the Lord for what I am. He is the actor of the journey, and He is acting through me.