JOYFUL SUFFERING: WHO CAN SEPARATE US FROM THE LOVE OF CHRIST?

My dearest one,

These are purely scattered thoughts:

It has been very hot for me, and I suffer more than ever. The scorching heat of the sun is draining me at times, giving me headaches and making me weak.

In the villages, sleeping on the ground in most cases is also a discomfort, of which, though difficult, I am getting used too- to suffer joyfully. The food at times is not of your own taste, and you adjust with the lifestyle; you run out of water and at times, forced to drink water from the river. You want a proper toilet, and at times, there isn’t any.

You give formation to leaders and youth, and at times, they don’t get what you want to happen. You feel frustrated inside because of their inability to deepen issues. At times, you have emotional frustrations when you are facing suffering people and you are helpless in front of them.

We work not for our own glories. A missionary doesn’t work so that he would be crowned with praises and admiration. I always instil this in mind, this is not of my own, and I am just cooperating in fulfilling the dreams of God. I am merely an instrument.

Suffering is always the lot of a missionary, and we are called for martyrdom of the heart. Little by little, I feel I am improving very well in this understanding of “joyful suffering”, joyfully facing the daily struggles in the mission with the conviction that this is for the Lord.

Therefore, Paul, in his letter to the Romans, was right: “Who can separate us from the love of Christ? Will affliction or distress, or persecution, or hunger, or nakedness, or peril or the sword? Yet, in all of these, we are conquerors, through Him who has granted us His love.”

Joyful suffering in so many different ways and occasions strengthens my will and my heart, my determination and my daily offering of my life. It gives me a clear perspective of my mission, or rather, God’s mission in me, through me and with me- all for His people. My mission is not a personal project, but God’s project.

I feel actually honoured every time I reflect on my priestly life. I never thought. And nobody even thought that I would become a missionary, especially a missionary here in Africa. Who am I? I am nothing. I cannot even compare myself to our elder Comboni missionaries. I am just full of admiration for them.

Yet, here I go, venturing another sphere in my life, a new endeavour beyond my imagination. It is not easy, but I will also say with conviction that the Lord “winged my soul” for greater things, and I am following that tract through joyful suffering in silence, daily abandonment of my life, facing daily difficulties in hidden ways, in serenity, for I am just a little pebble in the heart of Africa, unnoticed at times, completely hidden.

This pebble is taken cared, polished by the hands of the Potter, day after day, so that it is slowly turning into a little pearl in the heart of Africa.
I end here; my scattered thoughts stop here.... Raul