Holy Hating

Looking at the human level, there is a kind of great impossibility in the commands of Jesus: hating the family, and all possessions just to be Jesus' disciples. When I left my family, especially my sickly mother at that time, it was more of a pain. I was thinking of many of us, who are suffering emotionally because a member of a family is sick.

Jesus said, “Anyone of you who does not renounce his possessions couldn't be my disciple, and those who does not carry his cross and come after me cannot be my disciples.” He must be mad to tell people in his culture and time to tell this! His words are truly imperatives but also very revolutionary. To whom did he get this authority to tell people like this? This must be peoples' reaction. Yet, he sounds very attractive up to now. Inasmuch as many hated him, many also liked and worshipped his power and authority.

As I reflected this one, three points came into my mind. Firstly, I have realized that the greatest command is not for the good of one but for the community. Carry the cross of your community. It is just like telling each one, you and me, that in a community, I do not have to evade the other, or walk ahead the other, but to walk gently and help him carry his weaknesses.

There is a beautiful image depicted by Jesus- that is building the tower. Perhaps, our tendency is to build our own tower, fully secured and guarded, so that nobody will meddle with our privacy and our personal businesses. In each one, we have our high tower- the ego, walled up high with pride and strong projection of personality. Why, because I want to escape from others' intervention. The question: Are we willing to leave the tower and destroy the security from it?

The second point that touched me deeply from this Gospel is the cost. Dealing with money for a long time, I have this idea of cost and its effect on our budget. Here, I am thinking of the cost of isolation, being away and isolated from others. Would this be productive on my growth? Jesus mentions on the cost of building the tower. Have I calculated the effect on my construction of the ego tower in connection to my relationships with others? I could be very harsh and direct when I am upset or offended. What is its effect on me?

Perhaps, I miscalculated this aspect, so that I left behind my crumpled relationships, unable to bear personalities. It must be good that in my silence, I would build my own monument and worship my personality and in great awe, adore the height of my tower. In relationships, there is always unfinished business, especially if we build it for possession and exclusivity; to the one we are most comfortable.

Jesus reminds us that the best cost of our isolation and detachment from those we love and things dear to us is to integrate it into a meaningful way of living, into many relationships, not of exclusivity. Jesus was very deliberate too in saying that the cost of this separation is pain. And I say, "There is no complete togetherness without painful separation. When we are uprooted, we are also called to "bloom where we are planted.

Jesus has a kind of "holy hating" towards family and relations in order to express openly the joy of his commitments. This leads to my third point; that in following him, we are required to give complete abandonment and total commitment. I am sure Jesus was very joyful in his mission of spreading the kingdom of the Father. There must be a lot of instances where Jesus laughed, called, sang and danced with his disciples as they were proclaiming the kingdom.

This is also to be a community. Our "Priory" lifeis meant to be of relationship, of building trust and support, of being conscious of the cost of the ego-tripping and its effect. It is my prayer that all of us may experience that pain of separation and detachment so that we could fully attach ourselves into His image; and able to commit as a community for the kingdom. I leave open the challenge to each one: Bloom where you are planted.